April 2nd Author’s Note : we hope everyone appreciated this April Fool’s joke (or at least realized it was a joke by the third line in). Fake news is a problem, so to make sure nobody gets confused, we wanted to drop this disclaimer to make it clear that this is not a real story. Thanks for reading!
Elon Musk announced he will purchase a 51% stake in American Airlines. This continues his recent pattern of acquiring companies that play central roles in American society and infrastructure.
He announced the news on Twitter and in a press conference. When asked about his interest in American Airlines, Musk stated “I realized that I simply enjoy buying companies with birds on their logos. And when I have such an obscene amount of money why should I try to fight those urges?”
Later in the press conference Mr. Musk outlined a series of major changes he plans for the airline’s operations. Effective immediately, American will accept dogecoin for ticket purchases, and in coming years will transition to a completely blockchain-based payment system. The airline will start charging flyers a nominal fee of $10 for passengers to display their TSA PreCheck status on their boarding passes.
Major changes are in store for American’s workforce as well. All employees will be required to work in-office at corporate headquarters. This may prove challenging for the airline’s pilots and flight attendants, who are accustomed to working on aircraft, but Mr. Musk expects them to rise to the challenge. In line with his views about free speech, Mr. Musk wants the Twitter handle @AmericanAir to take controversial political stances and to share conspiracy theories. To maximize profits, Mr. Musk plans to lay off around a third of the airline’s workers. However analysts expect that move to be followed by frantic attempts to rehire most of the furloughed employees shortly thereafter.
Some industry experts also expressed excitement that Mr. Musk’s family of companies could offer multimodal transport itineraries. For example, passengers could hire a Tesla-operated rideshare to the airport, fly an American Airlines flight, then connect to a SpaceX moon rocket that may or may not explode on landing. Said SpaceX employee April Phules, “after experiencing the inside of a Falcon 9 rocket, I think American Airlines passengers will be a little more forgiving about the airline’s economy class legroom.”
While some passengers seem worried about the impact Musk’s takeover will have on the airline, others approved of the move. “As a proud owner of three Teslas I enjoy feeling better than other people,” said Bay Area resident Hugh Jassol. “I look forward to experiencing that same sense of superiority when flying American Airlines too.”
American Airlines shareholders readied themselves for extreme volatility in the airline’s stock price in the weeks ahead. When asked for comment, SEC Chair Gary Gensler simply burst into tears.
Note from the editor: This story is not real. Elon if you are reading this PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY BUY AMERICAN AIRLINES.
Very well done! Had me there for a while!
April fool’s day
wow, we were ready never to fly American again …
Well I still remember the day Donald Trump tried to buy AA. Stock soared to $130/share….wish I’d dumped mine back then!
If he ever bought an airline it would go belly up in days. Everyone would be fired or just walkout.
😂😂😂😂 Nice.
Thank God this was joke! I was cursing until the end of the story.
Parody, or rather good parody has to be slightly believable Everything other than the possibility that Elon Musk could buy American Airlines was extremely difficult to believe. But butt-hurt futile attempts at (whatever this was) don’t seem to have those constraints. Anyone forwarding this drivel along with the authors owe the recipients reparations for wasting their time!
If only! Elon would be a wonderful change for AA. Oh well, April fools!
Typically, AA is my 1st choice
However, looks like I’ll need a new choice!
Great April Fools prank! This article had me for a few minutes.😁
What purpose is served by normally serious blogs, websites, and companies in general posting these kinds of stories? I’m an aviation fan but I can’t imagine I’m alone in deciding not to frequent sites that play this game anymore. Sure, no one is hurt, all in good fun, right? Pointless. Plenty of humor online at sites actually good at it since it’s their niche, like The Onion or Clickhole. This is just frustrating.
I wish he would, at least 1 airline would be ran well. BTW what’s it like to hail someone as the next coming, then despise them the next day. Lol, I can smell your wokeness through my phone.
This is exactly why there is fake news out there…authors and editors should hold higher standards than this, and realize there are gullible people out there that will spread this as the truth!
Geez the people that are complaining about this need to grow up. I think it’s expected that you read with comprehension as an adult. Don’t get butt hurt because you didn’t understand that it was a joke right away.
At first blush I had decided I would never fly AA ever again. Thankfully it was an April Fool’s joke. Look just how much he disrupted Twitter and although Tesla’s stock is good one needs to really look at it as if the battery get only slightly scratched it could be rendered useless. Just what your pocketbook needs at this point in time.
Wish it were true! I would rush to buy AA stock.
My blood pressure just went up 100 pts. Another egomaniac bent on running my company into the ground.
Its crazy how democrats turned on musk as fast as trump. Man they have a stanglehold on their followers.
Well done, super funny
This is a really dumb “news” prank. I hope the writer is dies painfully.
Your grammar sucks.
I was going to make fun of you for making fun of someone commenting on an airline blog, but then I saw that Mr. Phillips was being kind of an ahole, so I am cool with it 🙂
David
I knew with the statement, I” have such an extreme amount of money”. Elon Musk would only use that statement, unless at a bar after he found out the woman he was talking to
votes demonocrat. The planet wouldn’t be so populated without the mindset of the female demonocrat voter. We wouldn’t be paying so much for eggs, fuel, and at threat of nuclear war either.
People are tiréd of face news, please remove this article
I like it 👌. It fooled me. Gave me a early morning chuckle. Well done thank you 😊.
Jolly good job ole boy!! Was worth it just to see the woke waking up!! Get a grip folks.. quit taking yourself so seriously.. we’re all stuck on this orb in the sky.. at least until Elon does something about it!!
Original story: Elon was buying one of his kids a Mickey Mouse Outfit and everyone assumed it was AA.
The amount of people getting triggered over this is insane. April fools is basically an American tradition at this point. Everybody gets butthurt over everything now and nobody can agree on anything anymore. I’m tired of it. Stop whining and just looking for things to complain about