April 2nd Author’s Note : we hope everyone appreciated this April Fool’s joke (or at least realized it was a joke by the third line in). Fake news is a problem, so to make sure nobody gets confused, we wanted to drop this disclaimer to make it clear that this is not a real story. Thanks for reading!
Elon Musk announced he will purchase a 51% stake in American Airlines. This continues his recent pattern of acquiring companies that play central roles in American society and infrastructure.
He announced the news on Twitter and in a press conference. When asked about his interest in American Airlines, Musk stated “I realized that I simply enjoy buying companies with birds on their logos. And when I have such an obscene amount of money why should I try to fight those urges?”
Elon Musk making his announcement
Later in the press conference Mr. Musk outlined a series of major changes he plans for the airline’s operations. Effective immediately, American will accept dogecoin for ticket purchases, and in coming years will transition to a completely blockchain-based payment system. The airline will start charging flyers a nominal fee of $10 for passengers to display their TSA PreCheck status on their boarding passes.
Major changes are in store for American’s workforce as well. All employees will be required to work in-office at corporate headquarters. This may prove challenging for the airline’s pilots and flight attendants, who are accustomed to working on aircraft, but Mr. Musk expects them to rise to the challenge. In line with his views about free speech, Mr. Musk wants the Twitter handle @AmericanAir to take controversial political stances and to share conspiracy theories. To maximize profits, Mr. Musk plans to lay off around a third of the airline’s workers. However analysts expect that move to be followed by frantic attempts to rehire most of the furloughed employees shortly thereafter.
American Airlines aircraft at Miami International Airport
Some industry experts also expressed excitement that Mr. Musk’s family of companies could offer multimodal transport itineraries. For example, passengers could hire a Tesla-operated rideshare to the airport, fly an American Airlines flight, then connect to a SpaceX moon rocket that may or may not explode on landing. Said SpaceX employee April Phules, “after experiencing the inside of a Falcon 9 rocket, I think American Airlines passengers will be a little more forgiving about the airline’s economy class legroom.”
While some passengers seem worried about the impact Musk’s takeover will have on the airline, others approved of the move. “As a proud owner of three Teslas I enjoy feeling better than other people,” said Bay Area resident Hugh Jassol. “I look forward to experiencing that same sense of superiority when flying American Airlines too.”
American’s MD-80s are likely glad they retired before all this went down
American Airlines shareholders readied themselves for extreme volatility in the airline’s stock price in the weeks ahead. When asked for comment, SEC Chair Gary Gensler simply burst into tears.
Note from the editor: This story is not real. Elon if you are reading this PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY BUY AMERICAN AIRLINES.
Southwest drink coupons. These won’t work since they are expired. – Photo: JL Johnson
Southwest flyers, rejoice! The airline has finally added a non-alcoholic option to their premium beverage menu. This is something I’ve wanted for over a decade. I even included it in my 2019 A-List wish list.
Community Coffee’s new Espresso option – Photo: JL Johnson
During the opening day of MCI’s new airport terminal, the fine folks at the LUV airline were handing their new Community Coffee Espresso + Cream beverage. It’s good. If you are familiar with the store-bought bottles of Starbucks Frappuccino, it’s a lot like that. Only not nearly as sweet which is a good thing in my book.
Laura Swift with the Southwest Airlines media team confirmed, “the new Espresso + Cream can be purchased with a valid, non-expired SWA drink coupon.”
As a non-drinker I’ve made it a habit to routinely give away my drink coupons. But now that there’s a non-alcoholic pick-me-up option I might have to get a little more stingy. So go book a business select fare which includes a free premium drink, or fly 10 revenue segments to earn four coupons of your own ☺️
Our flight from Keflavik to Seattle boarded via a proper jetbridge
The COVID-19 pandemic made for some mighty strange times. A January 2023 trip to Reykvavik with Icelandair marked my first time out of the United States since early 2020. I’ve been able to fly a lot domestically, but this would be the first time I’d get to use a passport in nearly three years, ending my longest international travel dry spell in decades. And, boy, was I looking forward to it, especially as Iceland is one of my very favorite destinations.
The trip was from Seattle to Keflavik on TF-FIN, a 25-year-old Boeing 757-200, a jet Icelandair has owned since it was built back in 1998.
Icelandair seems to work hard to keep its aircraft interiors in good shape; I’ve flown with them roughly 10 times in both Saga and economy, on their 737 MAX-8, 757-200, and Bombardier Dash-8s, and don’t recall having seen anything in the cabins that was in desperate need of repair.
Now that Air France’s Airbus A380s are retired, their flagship is now the 777-300ER. That feels fitting, because Air France was the 77W’s launch customer back in 2004. During the pandemic the airline was quietly working to redesign their onboard product, highlighted by a sweet suite-style business class seat. And a month ago the first renovated 777-300ER took flight between Paris and New York, with more planes and routes to follow.
Photo: Air France
We dropped by a mock-up of the new seat on display at New York’s Lincoln Center. The kickoff event included a Q&A session with Air France CEO Anne Rigail, who had plenty of commentary on the new seats and the airline’s master plan.
For a closer look at Air France’s new business class and hot takes from the interview with their CEO read on! And for any of you in New York City today March 5th, we have details below on how you can drop by the display for yourself and enter to win a pair of business class tickets.
The main building is bright, has plenty of room, and features an impossibly intricate art instillation hanging from the ceiling.
They say that good things come to those who wait. And it seems in the case of the Kansas City (KC) area getting a much-needed unified MCI airport terminal, it finally came! Plans for a single terminal to correctly accommodate passengers have been in the works since at least the 1990s. But here in the Show-Me state, folks are reluctant to accept change without clear benefits. To be honest, many of us are just stubborn. Alas, this isn’t a story about the past. Nor is it a story about the citizens of a single city in the two-state KC metro area controlling an economic powerhouse and causing decades of delays in what should have been a routine update. No. This is a celebration lap. For me, for my frequently flying friends, and yes, even those who somehow think the existing scheme is “convenient.” (I’ll see YOU in the comments!)
I have been a new terminal-evangelist since the late 2000s. Literally ~15 years of work has finally paid off. No, I don’t work for any governments and I don’t work for the airport. Heck, I didn’t even get to cast a vote of support when the new terminal issue graced a KC, Missouri ballot during a low voter turnout cycle. But it’s still a victory, and I’ll take it.
Tomorrow the doors of the new terminal officially open to the public. And for a second time I will walk its halls. Only this time it will be to board and fly the inaugural departing flight. Despite NOT securing early access like some others in our space, I was fortunate to be selected for a preparedness simulation a full two-weeks before opening day. The gist was simple – make sure everything is up to snuff, allow for a public preview, and even throw some local AvGeeks a bone. It was truly a great day.
